The Absent Man

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THE
ABSENT MAN:
A
FARCE.

As it is acted by
HIS MAJESTY'S SERVANTS,
AT THE
THEATRE ROYAL,
IN
DRURY-LANE

L O N D O N
Printed for WILLIAM GRIFFIN in Catharine-
Street in, the Strand. MDCCLXVIII

T O M R. K I N G.

SIR

IT was a custom with the Grecian Fishermen of old, when they had escaped any danger at sea, to dedicate their little skiffs to whatever Tutelary Being they attributed its preservation: there is nothing more certain, than that the ABSENT MAN is chiefly, was I not the Author myself, perhaps, I might say wholly, indebted, for its success, to your excellent performance; it is therefore, with great pleasure I take this method of expressing my obligations to you.

Indeed, when I consider your puncituality in attending the rehearsals of this little piece, though out of the common business of the theatre; and the care you took, not only to be perfect yourself, but that it should be, in every respect, produced as complete as possible; I cannot help congratulating all our present writers on the stage, on the acquisition of a performer of such uncommon merit; and so great a favorite with the public; who, they may be assured, will consider their advantage and reputation, as well as his own; and do their pieces, at least, all the justice they are capable of receiving.

Had I an inclination to indulge myself in the dedicatory style, I might now tell you, with truth, that few men have filled so many characters with the same propriety that you have; but I leave this to some newspaper essayist, who might be fond of playing upon meanings and words; and vary your appearance upon the theatre how you please, I will venture to say, your acquaintance in private life, will always find you an honest, a sensible and a gentleman like man.


I am, Sir
with great esteem,
your obliged,
humble servant.

P R E F A C E.

THIS farce was written some years ago, since which time it has lain by the author, without being offered to the stage; nor should he have ventured it there at all, but to serve Mr. Holland at his benefit; upon which occasion, he thought the public, through favor to so deserving a performer would be willing to be pleased with any thing.

The event has greatly exceeded his hopes; the farce was not only received with general approbation the first night, but that sort of approbation which a writer may depend upon with greatest safety.

"For smiles are honest when the hands are not"

And on the second night, it met with marks of favour still more manifest. This engaged the author to look over it with greater care than he had before done, and having heightened some places where he thought it most deficient, he now submits it to the public, in a form, in which, he hopes it will not utterly displease, though it is needless to say that things of this kind have their principal merit in representation.

Regnard one of the most famous French comic poets, ranked by his countrymen next to Moliere, has written a play of five acts upon this subject, called, le DISTRAIT how ever, exclusive of their great disparity in merit; no two pieces can be less alike than that, and the ABSENT MAN; atleast, where the materials have been drawn from the same source. The DISTRAIT of Regnard is exactly the Menalcas of La Bruyere's characters, a few things only left out, which, though possessed of a pleasant extravagance in recital, would be too absurd for actual representation; the hint of the ABSENT MAN, and no more, is taken from the same character of Menalcas, translated in one of the numbers of the Spectator; with the assistance of which, if the present writer has been able to produce a laughable farce, it is all he aimed at, and he pretends to no more praise than such a trifling composition may deserve.

P R O L O G U E.

Written by the AUTHOR of the FARCE

Ere the curtain draws up, lift a little to me:
Are you all in a very good humour? Let's see;
Good humour you have, howe'er you come by it,
And I'm glad to my soul; for, by Jove, we shall try it.
Our farce is so very a farce, I'm in doubt,
If the pit and the boxes, will suffer it out;
But when we're in danger of such a mishap,
My dear friends above, drown their hiss in a clap;
And if you are pleas'd with our farcical man,
In spite of their airs, laugh as loud as you can.

To give you a sketch, now, by way of portraying,
His character's thispray observe what I'm saying:
An odd kind of whimsical, blundering being,
Who has ears without hearing, and eyes without seeing;
Takes things by all handles, except by the right,
Ask a question in black, he answers in white.
Yes for no, no for yes; confuses, mistakes;
All he does so like dreaming, you'd scarce think he wakes.
Suppose to back-gammon my gentleman falls,
Box and dice in his hand, for some water he calls;
'Tis brought in a tumbler, when pop, in a trice,
He throws out the liquor, and swallows the dice.

Hard set are poor bards for your pleasures to cater,
And thus one provides for you, from the Spectator;
From volume the first, page three hundred and nine,
Number seventy-seven, he takes his design;
Let that be his sanction for what you behold:
Can the figure be had from so perfect a mold?
'Tis polish'd and varnish'd as well as he's able,
And he hopes you'll find something like conduct and fable.

Yet still this curst absence-in short here's the thing,
lf the character hits, thence his actions all spring;
And nought will disgust you, and nought will alarm you,
You'll takee ev'ry blunder, his follies will charm you;
But ifGad we're all in a terrible fright,
So, begging for mercy, I wish you good night.


D R A M A T I S P E R S O N A E.

M E N.

Doctor Gruel

Shatterbrain

Welldon

Captain Slang

Coxcomb

Frank

Robin

W O M E N.

Mrs. Junket

Miss Frolick

Flavia

Landlady


THE ABSENT MAN

Act 1

Scene I

Shatterbrain'sLodgings. A Dressing-Table, with a Glass, &c. Frank asleep in a Chair. Landlady enters in a hurry.

Land: Mr. Frank-Mr. Frank!
Frank: What's the matter?
Land: Rouse, rouse, man!
Frank: Is my master come home?
Land: Your master come home? no, he's not but there's the doctor below in his chariot, come to carry him to his bride.
Frank: Yawhave I slept long?
Land: You are asleep still, one would thinkI tell you there is your master's father-in-law that is to be, come to fetch him away!
Frank: My master's father-in-law that is to be, come to fetch him away!
Land: Ay.
Frank: Wellwhat shall we do?
Land: Nay, I don't knowI come to ask you.
Frank: If I was not acquainted with my master now, I should naturally conclude that the had either hanged, or drown'd himself in order to aviod being married.
Land: Oh, he's a sad gentleman!
Frank: He is a little out of the way sometimes, indeed.
Land: But the doctor waitswhat excuse will you make him?
Frank: Why noneI remember it was a maxim with an attorney I once served, always to tell the truthwhen a lie could not serve his purpose better and I think we must e'en follow his example, at present.
Land: Then I'll run down again, tho' I make a strange dirty figure.

(Looking at herself in the Glass.)

Lord! How I'm alter'd withiin these twelve years.
Frank: I will but rub my eyes, and follow you.

Scene II

Frank:

standing silent for some time, falls into an immoderate fit of Laughter.

Well, if ever I

(laughs again.)

If ever I heard the likes of this since I was born, I wish I may be married to a woman of three-score, with the constitution of a girl of sixteenWhy it will be the general hoke of the whole townthat a man,

(Laughs again)

that a man should be such abut stayI'll tell the story to myself, and try how it will be foundDoctor Gruel, a physicial of noted worth and eminence, comes to a certain gentleman, Mr. Shatterbrain by name; and on account of an ancient friendship subsisting between thier families, and for some other reasons, which shal be nameless, offers him his only daughter for a wifeMr. Shatterbrain accepts the proposal, and, in short, the happy day arrives, in which he is to be put in possession of the amiable object; when, behold you, the Doctor coming to call on his destined son-in-law, presto, pass and gone, the bird is flown; my gentleman is not to be found He took himself off the same morning about seven o'clockand nobody can tell what is become of himit will never doBut hark! the Doctor is marching up starisperhaps he may be able to give a physical reason for this.

Scene III

Frank, Doctor Gruel, Landlady.

Doctor: So young man, where's your master?
Frank: Really, sir, I don't know.
Doctor: When will he come in?
Frank: Upon my word, sir, I can't tell.
Doctor: Did he say nothing to you when he was going out?
Frank: Not a syllable, sir.
Doctor: Nor to you, Madam?
Land: Nor to me sir, as I'm a Christian.
Doctor: Mercy on us, I suppose you know what engagements he had upon his hands this evening>
Frank: Yes, sure, sir, very well, and I thought he had known it himself; but it seems I was mistaken.
Doctor: Seriously, I am afraid some accident has happened to him
Frank: No sir, I don't believe any accident has happened to him.
Land: Nor I niether, sir.
Doctor: What's your opinion then?
Frank: I believe I need not tell you, sir, that my master is, one or other,the most absent man this day upon the case of the earth
Doctor: Truly I have opten heard him remarked for it; nay, I have myself taken notice of several glaring instances of it in him; but, that is a failing he will soon get the better of when his thoughts are properly employed; and matrimony
Frank: Will in all likelyhood perfectly cure him. 'tis granted, sir, matrimony is without a doubt an excellent remedy, in such distempers; a kind of manna and cream of tartat; a mixture of sweet and sour; wonderfully adapted to purge the mind of it's gross humours, and reduce the understanding to a perfect regularity of constitution.
Doctor: A good comical fellow this.
Frank: But you cannot expect that the patient should recover, sir, before you have administer'd the remedy you intend to prescribe for his disease: therefore, you must not be surprised if my master happens to labour under a very violent fit of his out of the way malady, at this present moment.
Doctor: How do you mean?
Frank: Neither more, nor less, than that he has forgot he was to me married to your daughter to night, sir.
Doctor: Forgot!
Land: As sure as he can be he as Doctor.
Frank: Ay, sir, forgotand giving the reins to his wild imagination, suffer'd it to run away with him the Lord knows whither. Why, sir, when he is in the forgetting mood, his memory is a perfect sieve Any thing will fall thro' itI have known him forget his own name before now.
Doctor: I am unwillig to think my friend Shatterbrain design'd to affront meBut if his memory was a seive, to which you compare it, that only yields a passage to minuter particles, while the more gross remain behindAnd an affair of consequence, like
Frank: Lord, sir!, I could tell you such stories of
Critical note: See relevant passage from Rowe, LaBruyere (1713):
difficultyfor instance, the other day, he was sitting in a coffee-house, when a fly which had buzz'd about him a good while, and he was watching an opportunity to kill, unluckily settled upon the cheek of a person who stood near himHa! says he, I believe I have you now; and with that, Sir, he up with his hand, and hit the poor gentleman such a confounded slap, as made the room ring again; one started, the other stared, in short, swords were drawn, and the cafe would infalliably have been transferred to Hyde Park, had not the acquaintance on both sides interposed; so he begged pardon, confessed he did not know what he was doing; it ended in a hearty laugh, and the general astonishment of the whole company.
Land: About a fortnight ago, sir, he looked up a lady, and a gentleman, in his bed-chamber here, in the way of a joke only; was call'd down about some business; forgot it by the time he came to the foot of the stairs, went our with the key in his pocket, and it was six o'clock before we could set the pounded couple at liberty.
Frank: His ideas are so confused sometimes, sir, that I have known him write a letter to one person, direct it to another, and sent it to a third, who could not devise who it came from; because, he had forgot to put his name to the bottom on't.
Land: A beggar takes off his hat to him in the
Critical note: See relevant passage from Rowe, LaBruyere (1713): beggar at church door
street, in hopes of recieving an alms; Mr. Shatterbrain makes him a low bow, tells him, he's his most obedient humble servant, and walks on.
Frank: But the best thing I have heard of him a good while, was, what he did lately at a gentleman's
Critical note: See relevant passage from Rowe, LaBruyere (1713): thinking he is in his own house, plays host
house in the city; where taking his leave with an intention to go away; in one of his absent fits, he mounted up three pair of stars into the garret; the maids that by chance were ironing there, wonder'd what the plague kept such a stamping about the rooms, when one of them taking a candle to see what it was, found my poor paster; who, in the utmost confusion, told her, he fancy'd he had made some mistake, and begg'd to know if that was not the way to the street door.
Doctor: Well, I don't know; but, if his present behavior proceeds from his forgetfulness, it is the most extrodinary instance of the kind that ever was heard of; and, how shall I proceed in this case; my daughter is at home ready dressed; the lawyer will be there presently with the writings; I have taken out a licence; appointed the clergyman to come and marry the; how shall I put it off after this, without making us all ridiculous?
Frank: 'Tis very true, sir, I am sure I have been at my wits end about it all day.
Land: Suppose, Mr. Frank, you were to go and look for your master again; what if you gave a peep into the Bedford coffee-house?
Frank: Shall I, sir?
Doctor: If you think you will find him there.
Frank: It can be no harm to try, sir.
Doctor: Very well, I'll wait for you; go, and make what haste you can.
Textual note: The 1768 play indicates here again that this is Scene III, most likely becuase Frank has left the scene. That designation ahs been removed in favor of the stage direction.

Doctor Gruel, Landlady.

Land: I hope he may find him.
Doctor: So do I with all my heart; for, on many acounts, I would not wish to have my daughter's marriage delay'd; her own indiscretion, Madam, has occasioned me to treat her with a severity of late, very irksome both to herself and me.
Land: That's a pity, sir.
Doctor: In truth and so it is: few father have taken greater care in the education of a child, nor has that care been wholly unprofitable; for I think I may say without vanity, that there is not a young woman in England, of her age and station, more completely accomplished than my Flavia.
Land: And yet she has no more pride, I warrant, than a boarding-school girl, in the first row of her sampler.
Doctor: That's her fault, madama proper pride is woman's virtueI should be sorry to see my daughter give herself airs, but at the same time I would have her know her proper value; I would not have her throw herself away.
Land: No, to be sure, sir.
Doctor: And yet, had I not interposed my parental authority, such was her purpose, Madam; if I may call it throwing herself away, to marry a young fellow not worth a groat.

Scene IV

Doctor Gruel, Landlady, Frank out of breath.

Frank: My master's coming, Sir.
Land: As I'm a Christian, I'm glad on't.
Doctor: Where did you meet him?
Frank: I met him, SirO LordI met him at the end of the street, Sirwhere he has been Heaven knows, but such a figureSo, Sir, I told him I had been in search after him all day, and how you were waiting herebut if I had snapped a pistol at his breast, it could not have put him in greater consternationhe took to his heels, directly, like a madman; and I have almost run myself breathles in order to get home before him, and bring the tidings to your worship.
Doctor: Why, this is as it should be, Madam.
Land: Ay, ay, Sir, all's right againbut I hear Mr. Shatterbrain coming up, so I'll take my leave.
Doctor: I wish you a good evening; we shall hear now what this whimsical gentleman will have to say for himself

Scene V

Doctor Gruel, Frank, Shatterbrain.

Shatter: Come, my things, do dress quicklymy things to dress. Doctor Gruel you most obedient humble servantI beg ten thousand pardons, but I'll be ready to wait on you immediatelyFrank, why don't you make haste?
Frank: I am making all the haste I can, Sir.
Doctor: Time enough, time enough.
Shatter: I hope, Sir, your mother's very well?
Critical note: See relevant passage from Rowe, LaBruyere (1713): asking after widow's husband
Doctor: My mother! Sir?
Shatter: Yes, Sir, I hope she isa
Doctor: I hope she is happy, Mr. Shatterbrain poor woman, she has been dead these nine years but I believe you mean to ask me for my daughter.
Shatter: For your daughter! Upon my word, and so I dobless my soul, what was I thinking of. Did I say your mother? No, no; your daughter to be sure. How does Miss Gruel, Sir?
Doctor: Very well, and at your service heartily if you recollect we agreed to comsummate our affairs this evening. Accordingly I have disposed every thing for that purpose; and having a patient to visit in your neighborhood here, called in my return home to take you along with meguess then how I was surprised when the people told me you had gone our early, and nobody knew whither.
Shatter: Really, sir, I am quite ashamedbut up on my word it went out if my head.
Doctor: Why, so your servant said he was sure it had,; and I am very well pleased to find he was not mistakenfor in truth I was apprehensive that it proceeded from a worse cause, and some ill accident detain'd youbut where the duce have you been with your shoes and stockings?
Shatter: Frank, what are you doing? My shoes and stockings, sir? Why they are in a very beastly
Critical note: See relevant passage from Rowe, LaBruyere (1713): leaving house in state of undress
pickle, that's the truth on'tand now I look at them again, upon my soul I am amazed how I could contrive to make them sothough the roads were confounded deep; and if they had been a fathom, it would have been just the samefor I never pick my steps, but wade through the middle of every thingI had like to have been run over once or twice.
Doctor: Then you walked in to the country?
Shatter: Faith, sir, I had no thoughts of it when I left homebut, I don't know how it was, the beauty of the weather had enticed me as far as Putney, before I percieved that I was in t'other side the river; where, meeting with a party of friends going to dine at Richmond, I made a fifth in their vehicleby the way I was obliged to get one of the
Critical note: See relevant passage from Rowe, LaBruyere (1713): getting in wrong carriage
ladies to pay my reckoningfor when I came to put my hand in my pocketthe duce a farthing had I about me.
Frank: No, that I will answer forhere is your purse, Sir, you left it on the hall table, last night, when you were discharging the chairmanand 'twas very well I went down as I did, or ten to one but somebody might have whipped it away.
Critical note: See relevant passage from Rowe, LaBruyere (1713): robbed by footman
Shatter: Which would have been a loss to me, I seetho' I don't know how much was in it.
Doctor: But did not you talk of dressing? If you have any such intention, you had better do it speedily, and as you will be some little time about it, I will make use of the oppertunity to dispatch a few visits, which I must necessarily make this afternoonyou will come as soon as you are ready and believe me, when I assure you, I long to see you one of my family.

Scene VI

Shatterbrain, Frank.

Frank: By god, Sir, we had like to have been all to pieces hereI believe the Doctor thought you had given him the slip, and that you would not take the goods off his hands, after you had bar- gained for them.
Shatter: Very well he might think soand you Mr. Dunderpate, when you knew how my affairs were circumstanced, why did not you put me in mind?
Frank: Because, Sir, I thought
Shatter: Because you always think wrong, Sir Was there any one to enquire for me here to day?
Frank: Yes, Sir, Mr. Welldon was here five or six times.
Shatter: Welldon!
Frank: I believe he is but just come to town, Sir, for he had his boots onhe said he'd call again.
Shatter: If he should, let him know I shall be glad to see him at Doctor Gruel's, which will be my place of refidence henceforward.

(After picking his teeth, in a negligent manner, while Frank seems to put his things in order.)

Well! upon my soul, Mrs. Junket is a very agreeable woman, and so is her friend, Miss Frolick. I have not spend a day more pleasantly a great while
Frank: Was your honour with those ladies to day then? I saw them go by in a coach and four, with Captain Slang, and Mr. CoxcombBut let me look at you a little, Siriſ I may be so bold as to ask the question, pray do you intend to salute this young lady, this evening?
Shatter: What would the puppy be at?
Frank: Because, Sir, if your mind is bent that wayI would beg leave to salute you first with my razorodds bobs, if you should attempt to go near her with that bristly beard!
Shatter: Give me my cap.
Frank: Now, if you'll sit down, Sir, and let me put this cloth about you, I'll make your chin as smooth as the surface of a bowling green in a twinkling

(Shatterbrain sits down to be shaved; Frank puts on the shaving cloth. Shatterbrain talking while the servant lathers him)

Shatter: Apropos, Frank, cou'd you ever learn where I lost my boot, the last day I was out a riding?
Frank: Lord, Sir, how should I learn, I never heard of such a thing in my life!
Shatter: I have been thinking with myself that one of the fellows at the livery stable muſt have stole it from me, as I was getting off the horse
Frank:

(aside)

It's well your legs are not loose, we should soon have you reduced to your stumps
Shatter: Whu, Whu.
Frank: Consider what I'm doing, Sir! If you
Textual note: Remainder of line illegible; it is mose likely Frank is admonishing Shatter to remain still or he will accidentally cut him.
Shatter: Cut me! 'Sdeath that razor is fit to cut nothing but deal-boards; 'tis a perfect saw: change it directly.
Frank: I will, Sir, I will.

Scene VII

Shatterbrain, Frank, Welldon.

Shatter: My dear Welldon, ten thousand welcomes.

(Shatterbrain, forgetting the condition he is in, rises with the cloth about him, and runs and salutes Welldon on both sides of the face)

My fellow tells me you have designed me this favour two or three times to day.
Well: I have called here more than once, I believe.
Shatter: Because you had any particular commands for me, or only en passant?
Well: Oh, no very particular commandsBut I seem to have broke in upon you abruptly.
Shatter: My friends can never do so, sir, though I must own I could wish you had timed your visit a little better, for such is the malignity of my stars, that I cannot at present stay to enjoy the benefit of it. I must leave you, my boy, and I will give you half an hour to guess the occasion, which forces me to do a thing, otherwise so repugnant to my inclinations.
Well: I am the worst diviner in the world; I can not even draw consequences.
Shatter: Then, without farther circumlocution, sir, I am going to be married.
Well: Married!
Shatter:

(Taking out his snuff box.)

The Devil take me but I am.
Well: Then my intelligence is just, and all my fears are true.
Shatter: Do you ever take snuff?
Well: Confusion!
Shatter: Hey you, Sir Frank, what have you done to my snuff, blockhead? 'Tis wet, and smells of soap.
Frank: Wet and smells of soap, sir! Well it may, is not your face all over lather? Sure I had but just began to shave you.
Shatter: Oh, follow me into the next room, and make an end of it. You'll excuse my taking this liberty.

Scene VIII

Welldon and afterwards Frank.

Welldon: Pray make no apologiesUnkind Flaviabut why do I upbraid her with unkindess, who may possibly be in equal distress with myself?If I can't prevent the match, it were better almost that I had got no intelligence of itYet he seems to be ignorant that I am his rival, and I will flatter myself that my good genius has brought me here thus critically, to sound the whole truth of the affair; and by some unforeseen means or other, make me instrumental to the advancement of my own happiness.
Frank: Mr. Welldon! what's the matter.
Well: But I deserve it allOh Frank, how shall I tell you!
Frank: Out with it.
Well: Your master is going to be married to the only woman upon earth that can make me happy.
Frank:

(Looking very gravely in his face)

What a strange and unaccountable thing is lovewhich, like an inundation, turns every thing that stands in its way topsy turvyMisleads the judgmentblinds the understandingand, from reasonable creatures, leaves us little better than whimpering idiotsThe strongest it overpowersthe most wary it circumventsit smarts the wise manand it tickles the fool.
Well: What nonsense is this!Do you laugh at me?
Frank: 'Fore Cupid not I, SirBut how, in the name of common sense, can you imagine that I should be able to assist you?
Well: Well, I don't knowI'm almost mad.
Frank: So one would thinkBut if this young lady makes such tearing work in your heart, 'tis seven or eight days since her father offered her to my masterwhat have you been doing all this time?
Well: NothingIn daily expectation of receiving a letter from her, I never dreamt of any thing of this kind, till a friend writ me word he heard such a report; upon which, I immediately took horse, and judging that all access would be denied me at Doctor Gruel's, came here the moment I got my foot out of the stirrup.
Frank: And to what purpose?You did not suppose that my master would give her up to you?
Well: I supposed she should; nay, and I swear he shall give her up to me
Frank: Fair and softly, good SirWhat would you say now if I should tell you, that this match is made up with the young lady's own consent; and that she likes Mr. Shatterbrain better than you?
Well: Impossible!If there be any such thing as faith or constancy, in woman. But I'll know the truth of that presentlyI'll go to her father's house; by some means or other get admittance; and, if I find her false
Frank: You'll go hang yourself in your garters; a very heroic revenge trulyWell I shall not mention a word to my master of what you have told me but mum.

Scene IX

Welldon, Frank, Shatterbrain.

Shatter: Frank, where is my sword? I have been looking for it all over the next room, and can't find it.
Frank: Your sword, sir! Your sword

(looking about for it.)

why it hung in the next chamber, behind the door.
Shatter: Oh, it hung, it hung you are the most careless fellow.
Frank: Why I'm very sure, sir, I did not

(look- ing about)

Lord, is not that it in your hand, sir ?
Shatter: Ha! Upon my soul it is.
Well: Well, Mr. Shatterbrain, I'll take my leave.
Shatter: Why in such a hurry?
Well: I have some particular businessand shall but detain you.
Shatter: Nay if you have businessBut, I hope, I shall have the pleasure of seeing you when I can enjoy your company longer, and entertain you better.
Well: You may depend upon itthe pleasure will be to myself.

Scene X

Frank, Shatterbrain.

Frank: Come, for Heaven's sake, Sir, get yourself away; the Doctor will imagine you have forgot again.
Shatter: Is there a chair at the door?
Frank: There's always half a score standing at the next coffee-house.
Shatter: Well, the boy below will get me one. Do you take care of the things in the next room: and, d'ye hearwhat was I going to say?Bring my night-gown and slippers to Doctor Gruel's precisely at ten.
Frank: I'll take care, Sir.

Frank goes out, and Shatterbrain takes his hat from the table as if going out too, but suddenly stops at the door.

Shatter: Frank, Frank.
Frank:

(Within)

Here, Sir, coming, Sir
Shatter: Frank, why don't you make haste, Frank?
Frank:

(Entering)

What do you want, Sir?
Shatter: Nothing.

Exit with his hat over his night cap.

Frank: would think the absent Devil had possessed me, as
Textual note: There appears to be a missing line from the previous page here.
well as himHo, sir!
Shatter:

(Returning)

What ails the fellow? What do you bawl so for?
Frank: Your wig, Sir.
Shatter: Well, Sir, and could not you say so, without making a noise as if the house was on fire? Give it me.

Scene XI

Frank, Landlady.

Frank: Thanks to Providence, he's gone at last.
Land: At last, indeed!

(A violent knocking at the door.)

Frank: Hey-day! Who have we here?
Land: Lord be merciful to me, I'm sure no such visitors come to me.

(Knocking again.)

Again why, Sally, Susan! Are you all deaf? One had need keep a porter at this rate.
Frank: By the impudence of this rap now, it should be either a person of quality or a dun. Who is it?
Land:

(Having gone to the door.)

I can't tell; there's a whole coach full enquiring for your master.
Frank: My master!
Land: See if they are not coming out!
Frank: Let me lookthe people he dined with at Richmond, by the mackins.
Land: What do they want here, I wonder!

Scene XII

Mrs. Junket, Miss Frolick, Slang, Coxcomb, the Company enter laughing.

Mrs. Jun: But where's Shatterbrain?I want him to pay me my two and twenty shillings: Shatterbrain, you poor brute, where are you?
Miss Frolick: Mr. Shatterbrain
Cox: Mr Shatterbrian.
Mrs. Jun: Suppose, Sir, you were to imform your master that we are here.
Frank: My master is not at home, Madam.
Mrs. Jun: Not at home!
Slang: What will you do now?
Miss Frolick: Why he left us as soon as he eat his dinner, with an intent of coming home directly. If he is no better a walker, he might as well have stay'd for the coach.
Cox: And yet I thought he set out a good round pace too.
Mrs. Jun: I take my death this is very pretty; I wonder we did not pass him on the road!But he is such a strange creature! I'll be hang'd if he has not gone some round-about way.I wish now we had not been in such a hurry to leave Richmond, for ten to one whether he'll be in this half hour.
Miss Frolick: And all this time we shall have nothing to do.
Mrs. Jun: Here's four of us ; what if we sat down to a game at cards? 'twill serve to amuse us a little, and I want to win some moneyYour master has invited us to supper, Sir, so since he is not come in yet, if you'll set the card-table, and get a couple of packs of cards, we'll play a game or two till he does Heigh ho!
Frank: Madam!Invited them to supper!
Land: Oh crimine!
Frank: My master has been at home, Madam, and is gone out again for the remainder of the night.
Slang: A fair hum, by the Lord.
Cox: Is this not high?
Miss Frolick: I am at a loss what to make on't.You know where he is gone, I presume?
Land: Yes, Madam, he's gone to be married.
Mrs. Jun: How!
Miss Frolick: This is better and better.
Cox: 'Tis something funny, faith.
Slang: I wish, however, he had omitted the jest of
Textual note: Remainder of page missing. The words "ommitted the jest of" are half cut off.
Land: Nay, Sir, don't be angry with him, I'll be sworn he did not think of it thenThe Doctor came for him himselfHe has but just leſt the house.
Mrs. Jun: HistWhat Doctor came here for him?
Land: Dr. Gruel Madam
Mrs. Jun: Whose daughter he is gone to be married to, depend upon't. I heard something of this beforeFrolick, do you remember a letter I read you, somse time ago concerning a certain relation of mine and Flavia Gruel? Perhaps one of you may know him, Billy Welldon.
Slang: Yes, I have seen him about the Garden.
Mrs. Jun: 'Tis scarce a month since he was within a kiss of snapping up this girlPoor fellow, I wish he had got herBut her old father is such a
Miss Frolick: Oh, and old huncks! and loves money by all accounts.
Mrs. Jun: By the way, I could put you in a method of playing a charming trickWhat if we were to follow Shatterbrain to Doctor Gruel's?
Miss Frolick: An admirable project.
Cox: But of your own proposing, ladies, remember that.
Slang: Damn me, I'll do anything.
Mrs. Jun: Give me your hand, thenThis will be serving Shatterbrain right for the manner he has treated us. Besides, I owe the Doctor a grudge on my cousin's account, and I know it will fret his guts to fiddle-strings. Frolick, what do you think of this?
Miss Frolick: It diverts me of all things.
Mrs. Jun: She and I are very intimate there But what do we stay for?follow your leader.
Cox: Madam will you do me the honor of your little finger?
Miss Frolick: Heavens! Don't hurry one so

(Treading on her toes, as they go our she pushes him.)

Oh, you devil, you have kill'd my corns.

Scene XIII

Frank and Landlady.

Frank: Oh, the devil break your neckAnd have not you done a very pretty spot of work here? I shall be afraid to see my master's face now; to be sure he'll lay all the blame of this upon me.
Land: No, no; if there be any words about it, I'll take the fault upon myself. Will you step into the parlour, and drink a dish of tea? And afterwards we'll have a game at Pam Loo. There's cousin Spriggins, and Mrs. Allum the baker's wife, at next door. You know I won four-pence half penny from you last night, and I'll give you your revenge
Frank: Psha, rot my revengeI shall be played the mischief with, and all because you could not keep your tongue within your teeth.

The 1768 play/adaptation of The Absent Man: a Farce was printed in quarto format (and presumably published) by William Griffin, and though the text’s authorship is left anonymous, the play is attributed to Isaac Bickerstaff, a pseudonym used by Jonathan Swift. The premise of the play is based on the character Menalcas that appears in Jean de La Bruyère’s Les Caractères de Théophraste traduits du grec avec Les Caractères ou les moeurs de ce siècle (English title: Characters, or the Manners of the Age: With the Moral Characters of Theophrastus). Menalcas appears in the seventh paragraph in the chapter titled “XI. Of Mankind.” The quarto in this digital edition contains a stamped title page, a dedication to the king (from William Griffin?), a preface, a prologue by the author of the play, a dramatis personae, and the two act play itself (and all of its dialogue, stage directions, and scene and act markers and changes). They play was performed by His Majesty’s Servants at the Theater Royal in Drury-Lane.

The Absent Man project was created as a collaborative effort between Andreas Bassett and Sarah Moore, under the direction of Dr. Geoff Turnovsky and the ENGL501 Textual Studies and Digital Editing course during the Autumn 2019 quarter at the University of Washington. Our project is a online critical edition of The Absent Man: A Farce, a 1768 theatrical adaptation of Jean de la Bruyère’s Les Charactères. Our project is designed to meet the needs of general reader, students, and researchers interested in engaging in an obscure work influenced by La Bruyère’s Les Charactères. This edition is informed by the idea of close reading and textual enfolding, that is, that meaning is created as a text reveals or obscures information. To that end, this digital project is built around the concept of curating selections of the text to interact with. Users can, for example, choose to only see dialogue spoken by specific characters, or focus on specific scenes. Users can also hide or reveal textual and critical notes. In this way, The Absent Man mimics the separate-but- related character sketches of Les Charactères.

Andreas Bassettis a second-year doctoral student at the University of Washington, Seattle where he studies early modern drama and medieval literature. His research interests include the Shakespeare apocrypha, print culture, bibliography, stylometry, the Matter of Britain, and some of the lesser-known dramatists of the Elizabethan era. At the moment Andreas is working on his master’s essay which traces, historicizes, and analyzes three apocryphal plays by the obscure “W. S.,” Locrine (1595), Thomas Lord Cromwell (1602), and The Puritan (1607), a tragedy, history, and comedy, respectively, as an independent and cohesive trilogy. He is also currently working on developing an authoritative digital edition of Nostradamus’ Les Prophecies.

Sarah Nickel Mooreis currently a doctorate student at the University of Washington, where she studies late medieval romance and early modern drama. She has an interest in the environmental humanities and the materiality of textual manuscripts, and as such several of her past projects have focused on the connections between animal, women, and text. Currently, Sarah is completing a certificate in textual studies, in which she is applying her knowledge of the material text to the creation of digital editions. She received her master’s degree from the University of Alabama in Huntsville, with thesis work that examined the animal and female bodies in The Avowyng of Arthur and Marie de France’s Yonec. Sarah continuously seeks to improve her pedagogy, and has repeatedly used her research as a means of sparking discussion in the classroom, where she aims to help students find their critical voices.

Forthcoming

Forthcoming