THE
ABSENT MAN:
A
FARCE.
As it is acted by
HIS MAJESTY'S SERVANTS,
AT THE
THEATRE ROYAL,
IN
DRURY-LANE
L O N D O N
Printed for WILLIAM GRIFFIN in Catharine-
Street in, the Strand. MDCCLXVIII
T O M R. K I N G.
SIR
IT was a custom with the Grecian Fishermen of old, when they had escaped any danger at sea, to dedicate their little skiffs to whatever Tutelary Being they attributed its preservation: there is nothing more certain, than that the ABSENT MAN is chiefly, was I not the Author myself, perhaps, I might say wholly, indebted, for its success, to your excellent performance; it is therefore, with great pleasure I take this method of expressing my obligations to you.
Indeed, when I consider your puncituality in attending the rehearsals of this little piece, though out of the common business of the theatre; and the care you took, not only to be perfect yourself, but that it should be, in every respect, produced as complete as possible; I cannot help congratulating all our present writers on the stage, on the acquisition of a performer of such uncommon merit; and so great a favorite with the public; who, they may be assured, will consider their advantage and reputation, as well as his own; and do their pieces, at least, all the justice they are capable of receiving.
Had I an inclination to indulge myself in the dedicatory style, I might now tell you, with truth, that few men have filled so many characters with the same propriety that you have; but I leave this to some newspaper essayist, who might be fond of playing upon meanings and words; and vary your appearance upon the theatre how you please, I will venture to say, your acquaintance in private life, will always find you an honest, a sensible and a gentleman like man.
I am, Sir
with great esteem,
your obliged,
humble servant.
P R E F A C E.
THIS farce was written some years ago, since which time it has lain by the author, without being offered to the stage; nor should he have ventured it there at all, but to serve Mr. Holland at his benefit; upon which occasion, he thought the public, through favor to so deserving a performer would be willing to be pleased with any thing.
The event has greatly exceeded his hopes; the farce was not only received with general approbation the first night, but that sort of approbation which a writer may depend upon with greatest safety.
"For smiles are honest when the hands are not"
And on the second night, it met with marks of favour still more manifest. This engaged the author to look over it with greater care than he had before done, and having heightened some places where he thought it most deficient, he now submits it to the public, in a form, in which, he hopes it will not utterly displease, though it is needless to say that things of this kind have their principal merit in representation.
Regnard one of the most famous French comic poets, ranked by his countrymen next to Moliere, has written a play of five acts upon this subject, called, le DISTRAIT how ever, exclusive of their great disparity in merit; no two pieces can be less alike than that, and the ABSENT MAN; atleast, where the materials have been drawn from the same source. The DISTRAIT of Regnard is exactly the Menalcas of La Bruyere's characters, a few things only left out, which, though possessed of a pleasant extravagance in recital, would be too absurd for actual representation; the hint of the ABSENT MAN, and no more, is taken from the same character of Menalcas, translated in one of the numbers of the Spectator; with the assistance of which, if the present writer has been able to produce a laughable farce, it is all he aimed at, and he pretends to no more praise than such a trifling composition may deserve.
P R O L O G U E.
Written by the AUTHOR of the FARCE
Ere the curtain draws up, lift a little to me:
Are you all in a very good humour? Let's see;
Good humour you have, howe'er you come by it,
And I'm glad to my soul; for, by Jove, we shall try it.
Our farce is so very a farce, I'm in doubt,
If the pit and the boxes, will suffer it out;
But when we're in danger of such a mishap,
My dear friends above, drown their hiss in a clap;
And if you are pleas'd with our farcical man,
In spite of their airs, laugh as loud as you can.
To give you a sketch, now, by way of portraying,
His character's thispray observe what I'm saying:
An odd kind of whimsical, blundering being,
Who has ears without hearing, and eyes without seeing;
Takes things by all handles, except by the right,
Ask a question in black, he answers in white.
Yes for no, no for yes; confuses, mistakes;
All he does so like dreaming, you'd scarce think he wakes.
Suppose to back-gammon my gentleman falls,
Box and dice in his hand, for some water he calls;
'Tis brought in a tumbler, when pop, in a trice,
He throws out the liquor, and swallows the dice.
Hard set are poor bards for your pleasures to cater,
And thus one provides for you, from the Spectator;
From volume the first, page three hundred and nine,
Number seventy-seven, he takes his design;
Let that be his sanction for what you behold:
Can the figure be had from so perfect a mold?
'Tis polish'd and varnish'd as well as he's able,
And he hopes you'll find something like conduct and fable.
Yet still this curst absence-in short here's the thing,
lf the character hits, thence his actions all spring;
And nought will disgust you, and nought will alarm you,
You'll takee ev'ry blunder, his follies will charm you;
But ifGad we're all in a terrible fright,
So, begging for mercy, I wish you good night.
D R A M A T I S P E R S O N A E.
M E N.
Doctor Gruel
Shatterbrain
Welldon
Captain Slang
Coxcomb
Frank
Robin
W O M E N.
Mrs. Junket
Miss Frolick
Flavia
Landlady
THE ABSENT MAN
Act 1
Scene I
Shatterbrain'sLodgings. A Dressing-Table, with a Glass, &c. Frank asleep in a Chair. Landlady enters in a hurry.
(Looking at herself in the Glass.)
Lord! How I'm alter'd withiin these twelve years.Scene II
standing silent for some time, falls into an immoderate fit of Laughter.
Well, if ever I(laughs again.)
If ever I heard the likes of this since I was born, I wish I may be married to a woman of three-score, with the constitution of a girl of sixteenWhy it will be the general hoke of the whole townthat a man,(Laughs again)
that a man should be such abut stayI'll tell the story to myself, and try how it will be foundDoctor Gruel, a physicial of noted worth and eminence, comes to a certain gentleman, Mr. Shatterbrain by name; and on account of an ancient friendship subsisting between thier families, and for some other reasons, which shal be nameless, offers him his only daughter for a wifeMr. Shatterbrain accepts the proposal, and, in short, the happy day arrives, in which he is to be put in possession of the amiable object; when, behold you, the Doctor coming to call on his destined son-in-law, presto, pass and gone, the bird is flown; my gentleman is not to be found He took himself off the same morning about seven o'clockand nobody can tell what is become of himit will never doBut hark! the Doctor is marching up starisperhaps he may be able to give a physical reason for this.Scene III
Frank, Doctor Gruel, Landlady.
Doctor Gruel, Landlady.
Scene IV
Doctor Gruel, Landlady, Frank out of breath.
Scene V
Doctor Gruel, Frank, Shatterbrain.
Scene VI
Shatterbrain, Frank.
(After picking his teeth, in a negligent manner, while Frank seems to put his things in order.)
Well! upon my soul, Mrs. Junket is a very agreeable woman, and so is her friend, Miss Frolick. I have not spend a day more pleasantly a great while(Shatterbrain sits down to be shaved; Frank puts on the shaving cloth. Shatterbrain talking while the servant lathers him)
(aside)
It's well your legs are not loose, we should soon have you reduced to your stumpsScene VII
Shatterbrain, Frank, Welldon.
(Shatterbrain, forgetting the condition he is in, rises with the cloth about him, and runs and salutes Welldon on both sides of the face)
My fellow tells me you have designed me this favour two or three times to day.(Taking out his snuff box.)
The Devil take me but I am.Scene VIII
Welldon and afterwards Frank.
(Looking very gravely in his face)
What a strange and unaccountable thing is lovewhich, like an inundation, turns every thing that stands in its way topsy turvyMisleads the judgmentblinds the understandingand, from reasonable creatures, leaves us little better than whimpering idiotsThe strongest it overpowersthe most wary it circumventsit smarts the wise manand it tickles the fool.Scene IX
Welldon, Frank, Shatterbrain.
(looking about for it.)
why it hung in the next chamber, behind the door.(look- ing about)
Lord, is not that it in your hand, sir ?Scene X
Frank, Shatterbrain.
Frank goes out, and Shatterbrain takes his hat from the table as if going out too, but suddenly stops at the door.
(Within)
Here, Sir, coming, Sir(Entering)
What do you want, Sir?Exit with his hat over his night cap.
(Returning)
What ails the fellow? What do you bawl so for?Scene XI
Frank, Landlady.
(A violent knocking at the door.)
(Knocking again.)
Again why, Sally, Susan! Are you all deaf? One had need keep a porter at this rate.(Having gone to the door.)
I can't tell; there's a whole coach full enquiring for your master.Scene XII
Mrs. Junket, Miss Frolick, Slang, Coxcomb, the Company enter laughing.
(Treading on her toes, as they go our she pushes him.)
Oh, you devil, you have kill'd my corns.Scene XIII
Frank and Landlady.
The 1768 play/adaptation of The Absent Man: a Farce was printed in quarto format (and presumably published) by William Griffin, and though the text’s authorship is left anonymous, the play is attributed to Isaac Bickerstaff, a pseudonym used by Jonathan Swift. The premise of the play is based on the character Menalcas that appears in Jean de La Bruyère’s Les Caractères de Théophraste traduits du grec avec Les Caractères ou les moeurs de ce siècle (English title: Characters, or the Manners of the Age: With the Moral Characters of Theophrastus). Menalcas appears in the seventh paragraph in the chapter titled “XI. Of Mankind.” The quarto in this digital edition contains a stamped title page, a dedication to the king (from William Griffin?), a preface, a prologue by the author of the play, a dramatis personae, and the two act play itself (and all of its dialogue, stage directions, and scene and act markers and changes). They play was performed by His Majesty’s Servants at the Theater Royal in Drury-Lane.
The Absent Man project was created as a collaborative effort between Andreas Bassett and Sarah Moore, under the direction of Dr. Geoff Turnovsky and the ENGL501 Textual Studies and Digital Editing course during the Autumn 2019 quarter at the University of Washington. Our project is a online critical edition of The Absent Man: A Farce, a 1768 theatrical adaptation of Jean de la Bruyère’s Les Charactères. Our project is designed to meet the needs of general reader, students, and researchers interested in engaging in an obscure work influenced by La Bruyère’s Les Charactères. This edition is informed by the idea of close reading and textual enfolding, that is, that meaning is created as a text reveals or obscures information. To that end, this digital project is built around the concept of curating selections of the text to interact with. Users can, for example, choose to only see dialogue spoken by specific characters, or focus on specific scenes. Users can also hide or reveal textual and critical notes. In this way, The Absent Man mimics the separate-but- related character sketches of Les Charactères.
Andreas Bassettis a second-year doctoral student at the University of Washington, Seattle where he studies early modern drama and medieval literature. His research interests include the Shakespeare apocrypha, print culture, bibliography, stylometry, the Matter of Britain, and some of the lesser-known dramatists of the Elizabethan era. At the moment Andreas is working on his master’s essay which traces, historicizes, and analyzes three apocryphal plays by the obscure “W. S.,” Locrine (1595), Thomas Lord Cromwell (1602), and The Puritan (1607), a tragedy, history, and comedy, respectively, as an independent and cohesive trilogy. He is also currently working on developing an authoritative digital edition of Nostradamus’ Les Prophecies.
Sarah Nickel Mooreis currently a doctorate student at the University of Washington, where she studies late medieval romance and early modern drama. She has an interest in the environmental humanities and the materiality of textual manuscripts, and as such several of her past projects have focused on the connections between animal, women, and text. Currently, Sarah is completing a certificate in textual studies, in which she is applying her knowledge of the material text to the creation of digital editions. She received her master’s degree from the University of Alabama in Huntsville, with thesis work that examined the animal and female bodies in The Avowyng of Arthur and Marie de France’s Yonec. Sarah continuously seeks to improve her pedagogy, and has repeatedly used her research as a means of sparking discussion in the classroom, where she aims to help students find their critical voices.
Forthcoming